You’re looking for love? Well, that’s great… so is everyone else, dear. So, how are you going to do it? There are people who have more beauty, they’re funnier, some have more money, etc. What makes you so interesting? Well, how about your approach? Let’s face it, you and everyone else reading this are here for a reason, and that reason is loneliness. It’s time to get out there! Dating isn’t easy. We all just want someone to deal with us; that let us hold them close and count on them to handle the part of us we can’t handle on our own. But, how do we find such a person? There are two certain approaches that you can attempt to find that person you’ll inevitably call your lover, significant other, and maybe, if you’re really lucky, your best friend. They include traditional movie-dating, as well as our modern world’s online matchmaking system.
Have you ever read Shopgirl by Steve Martin? Yes? Great! I’m gonna give you a summary anyway…
First off, there’s this girl named Mirabelle: mid twenties, average build, brown hair, dreams a life of art, works a life as a mall’s glove department connoisseur. Bottom line: average. Anyway, Mirabelle has a rough relationship with her dad causing her emotional stress that she relieves by having non-emotional sex with a man-child named Jeremy. Jeremy is a sloppy,immature, unkempt "adult". Kind of like a kid who hasn't moved on from college, or maybe didn't even go to college. Shortly thereafter nothing changes in Mirabelle and Jeremy leaves to go learn to be an adult while on tour with a small band. Back to Mirabelle, a recently (4 years) divorced man named Ray Porter meets Mirabelle and asks her out on a date. Ray is very charming, polite, successful, and seems as if he has his life together. The artful Mirabelle anxiously accepts Ray’s invitation and they meet at an expensive Italian restaurant. After a few dates they sleep together, but right before that, Ray explains his stance on the boundaries of their relationship: it’s not exclusive, and he has no intention of extending the boundaries further than sex.
Life goes on and Ray reveals he’s slept with another woman. Although Mirabelle had requested to hear of such an event, deep down she never expected to hear such a result. She trusted Ray much like her far away father, and once again, she’s let down. The relationship has been severed to a point of no return. Bottom line, relationships are not easy and communication is absolutely one of the cornerstones for a strong foundation with a significant other. In the end, Jeremy returns a man and begins to date a new San Franciscan in Mirabelle who moved away to turn her own life around. Ray keeps in touch and begins a new relationship with Mirabelle. He was her new father all along. One that had sex with her on more than several occasions. When you think about it the story is pretty messed up overall. But respectable. That’s why it is such a good example to share with you on the balance of bonds.
So what’s the point? While Maribelle and Ray’s relationship is rather odd and does not work out, he still dates her in a traditional fashion. He invites her to lavish dinners, buys her expensive gifts, and supports her both mentally and financially. Online dating is not this romantic. Users usually never meet, and conversation is limited to a text box. However, in rare circumstances, people do connect and relationships occur. If the goal of both online and traditional dating is to meet a viable partner, then why does it matter what method a person chooses? We argue that physical dating is the superior method for finding a partner. By dating Ray Porter, Mirabelle is forced out of her normal routine. Through both positive and negative experiences, Mirabelle becomes a more confident person and rediscovers herself. She benefitted from a real relationship, even though it failed. If she had used an online profile, none of this would have happened. She would still be the same quiet and depressed girl that we knew at the beginning of the book.
Traditional dating is a more personal and meaningful method of dating. It can bring out the best of you, the worst of you, and maybe even bring out parts of you that you never knew were there. Whereas, online dating allows you to describe yourself as you think you are, with a picture of yourself that you choose and edit, and leave it there for other men or women to look at. By using an online profile, you can hide behind the screen of your computer. It doesn't force you to put yourself out there and create a true meaningful relationship.
Find out what you might like, or not like, about online dating. Online dating offers millions of possible matches for potential users and in many cases it has been very successful for people; however, you might not know who is on the other side of the screen. Check out this article to find out more pros and cons that come with online dating!
Several classmates and I conducted a little experiment on a website called OKCupid.com, a free online dating website. We created two profiles, one female and one male. The profiles were fake, but we did our best to make them seem like real people. We also made them the same age with similar traits and equal attractiveness. Then, we waited 24 hours to see what the results were. The results were quite interesting... the female profile received 262 profile likes and sixty-two messages while the male profile received only seventeen profile likes and one message.
These lopsided results showed us there are many more males searching for females. By using the website, we also found that this method is a very artificial and sketchy way to meet somebody you want to spend time with (and potentially for the rest of your life). It is very easy to have conversations where you can edit what you say on a keyboard before sending it. Also, you can claim to be whoever you want to be. You can type WHATEVER you want to in the description box. Anyone can say that they are funny, outgoing, and so on. This can lead to a number of dating disasters. You can only find out if you truly like someone and connect with them by meeting them in person and getting to know who they are.
There are many benefits to using an online dating website to meet other people, but it can be dangerous. It is important to understand that a successful relationship will not come from a conversation of composed messages on a keyboard over an internet connection. It takes getting to know that other person by means of face-to-face conversations and meeting each other in person. All in all, don't rely on a dating website to find your soul mate for you.